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#278273 10/09/09 11:49 pm
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maylar Offline OP
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To any gents out there who have personal experiences with British women, I'm curious to know if they have any special characteristics that separate them from other women around the world. In particular, the kept woman variety.

I ask because my pet name for my Norton is "The Ho'", and I wonder if she's typical of English mistresses or if she's just another bitch. The Ho's traits are these:

Incredibly beautiful in a timeless way. People stare and point when we go by.
She loves my money and demands all my attention and time.
When in the mood, she's satisfying like no other.
When not in the mood, there's no changing her mind.
She breaks my balls just for fun. I'm sure of that.
We're accepted in any crowd, young or old. It's not me, it's her.
No man has ever been born who wouldn't want her.
For the last 35 years, she's changed to meet my needs and never ever let me down.

So, I wonder if this Ho is decidedly English or if any other variety of bitch would be the same.



Dave from CT
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Maylar, I read your post and immediately identified my mistress. Is she being unfaithful to me?

I'm retired now but in 2000, I went on a NATO course near Munich (during the Oktoberfest, of course!)
On the first day, we each had to stand up in front of the assembled course and instructors and say somthing about ourselves.
I was first to speak and I gave a brief resume of my then current responsibilities and ended up on a personal note saying I had a wife, three children, a new grandchild and forty-year-old mistress, explaining (I thought) that the mistress was my beautiful 1960 T120 Bonneville.

UNFORTUNATELY (you judge) not everyone's English was up to scratch and the next guy (an Italian) confessed to also having a mistress, that's why he no longer had a wife etc. And we all realised he meant it!. One-by-one everyone fessed up to all their peccadillos as if a huge weight had been lifted from their shoulders. What an unintended ice-breaker! I was laughing so much I almost wet myself. Best course I ever went on, unfortunately because of the Oktoberfest I can't remeember much else!

PS. The Oktoberfest was top notch, but that's another story


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Dave ... I've sent along your deeply fillysofical 'questions' to the Brit Iron group without your permission. I hope that's OK? They seem to have similar issues with their English 'Ladies of the evening'. heh

BTDT got the tee shirt and love em all even those sometimes cruel but always pretty/fast/noisy Brit Gurls.
Thanks for the smiles!


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Apparently Santa Claus has 3 mistresses.

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In Remembrance
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My English (sort of) mistress is Mona's Isle... nuff said...

Cheers..!!

Ron

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maylar lad, just got this to say...

Women, one brain between the bloody lot of em mad

I rest my case wink


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Yep, they can multitask, pity they can't listen at the same time as we're speaking...

I shall now go and hide...


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ahhh...
i COULD hang myself in a few simple sentences here-
but i WON'T

BUT i will say...
ever notice how dogs of the same breed have the same personality
idiosynchrasies, physical mannerisms, facial expressions, etc.?

funny? but i have
NEVER noticed that about british motorcycles! (OR women)

honey? did I just hang myself? well, you know- give a guy enough rope....


Lesya Ukrainka:
“He who has not lived through a storm/does not know the price of strength.”

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maylar Offline OP
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According to a recent news article, more than half of English women wear "D" cups. So it seems that Englishmen have something to smile about, and their ladies are probably used to being gawked at.

When we're alone, my Ho will refuse to start and kick me in the knee. But when a crowd is watching she usually fires with one kick. Proud old bitch that she is.

And Lord, she is pretty.


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Aah, you're correct. Wherever we go, even on the sly, her presence draws envious stares. Even ogles!
I have to put her in chains when I'm away, so no-one will walk away with her! The attraction is that great.
I would never leave her on the side of the road, for fear of the above.
Any surgery, cosmetic or vital, is a priority and affordable.
Love? Some may say that. A partnership is closer to reality...
Tom


Tom D. 1967 T120R Bonneville
Anyone know of a place that sells Loctite
by the quart?
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Originally Posted by KarlB
Yep, they can multitask, pity they can't listen at the same time as we're speaking...
Don't be ridiculous. Stand a woman in a crowded room and she can speak whilst being able to listen to every conversation within earshot. It's just that she ignores the insignificant ones. [Linked Image]

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Maylar.

I once was married to an English (Essex) woman for roughly 25 years and you summed her up to a tee.
She was a very good house-keeper, as she kept the house when she departed.
The only positive thing that came out of the marriage was that I was forced to learn how to cook!

Someone famous once said that there must be a reason why the good lord in all his wisdom gave woman a big back-side and a small head!

Whisper

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Three men were sitting together talking about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from Essex and bragged that he had told her she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning theat needed doing at their home. He said that it took a couple of days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Kent. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results but the next day it was better. By the third day his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Yorkshire lass. He said he'd told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot food on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but, by the third day, the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. laughing


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I take it that you're a Yorkshire lass Janet............?!?!?!?

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Originally Posted by Whisper
I take it that you're a Yorkshire lass Janet............?!?!?!?
Now what gave you that idea?

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Originally Posted by maylar
According to a recent news article, more than half of English women wear "D" cups. So it seems that Englishmen have something to smile about, and their ladies are probably used to being gawked at...


But ya left out the part about the 46 in. waist line...

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So, Bruce and Larry are walking down the street when they come across a dog licking himself between the legs. Bruce turns to Larry with loving eyes and says "Boy I wish I could do that". Larry replies, " Don't you think you should pet him first?"


Who are the Brain Police?

B44 Victor
60 MGA
56 Chevy

Bob M.

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