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#415205 - 01/25/12 11:08 am English language (no BB content)  
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Ger B Offline
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As a non native in the English language I sometimes have difficulties to understand what some natives in the language try to say or write.
Now I know why... grin

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.

I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how itís written.)

Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,

Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciationís OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour

And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.

Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Feffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear

Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Wonít it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
Itís a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.

My advice is to give up!!!


Ger B

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#415208 - 01/25/12 11:46 am Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Ger B]  
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MikeinBiddeford Offline
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Thank you for that. Is it your own work? I would like to give proper credit when I pass it along to all my friends who have mocked me for not being able to spell.
I keep saying "You either know how to fix things or you know how to spell, you don't get both!"


Please do not believe anything I write. I am a hack but I like to guess the right answers.
#415209 - 01/25/12 11:52 am Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Ger B]  
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Phatt Bob Offline
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Nice one Ger, if its any consolation, we get it wrong too.

try there for size...

Cholmondley
Bealieu
Menzies Campbell
Featherstonehaugh
and Ghoti

smile

The clue to the last one is, rough women and fiction!


Phatt Bob
'95 Daytona 1200
'98 Daytona 1200 dragbike
ex-850 T140 Caff Racer, 850 Triton, Morgo T120, Starfire and Pretend Daytona 500 owner
#415212 - 01/25/12 12:31 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Phatt Bob]  
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Ger B Offline
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Quote:
Is it your own work

No it's not. I write in my own language, but I'm not a poet in English.
But thank you for thinking I might be the author laughing

I found it by accident on the world wide web.


Ger B

#415220 - 01/25/12 1:40 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Ger B]  
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ricochetrider Online content
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whew!
sometimes one must peer into a mirror to see oneself in true light.
that is certainly a comprehensive view of the bizarre complexities of the English language.

may we cite our mixed heritage for the wordy absurdities?


"It is no measure of health, to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

#415246 - 01/25/12 4:23 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Ger B]  
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Being foreign born, my grammar school struggle was with the words of and off.

A phyne, fyne, no... fine post, Ger.

#415249 - 01/25/12 4:36 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: ricochetrider]  
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Lannis Online content
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Originally Posted By: ricochetrider
whew!
sometimes one must peer into a mirror to see oneself in true light.
that is certainly a comprehensive view of the bizarre complexities of the English language.

may we cite our mixed heritage for the wordy absurdities?


Actually, if you look at the sources of words and grammar in English, the MOST CLOSELY related language is .... DUTCH!

I'll admit it's a mess though. If I hadn't been raised learning it, I'd never be able to learn it on my own!

Lannis


OK, I admit it, I'm addicted to brake fluid.

But I can stop any time I want.
#415253 - 01/25/12 4:40 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Phatt Bob]  
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Originally Posted By: Phatt Bob
Nice one Ger, if its any consolation, we get it wrong too.

try there for size...

Cholmondley
Bealieu
Menzies Campbell
Featherstonehaugh
and Ghoti

smile

The clue to the last one is, rough women and fiction!


Don't forget Colquohoun (Cal-HOON), Urquhart (EK-ert), St. Clair (SIN-klare), Taliaferro (TOL-i-ver) and Fotheringay (FUN-jee)!

Lannis


OK, I admit it, I'm addicted to brake fluid.

But I can stop any time I want.
#415263 - 01/25/12 5:29 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Ger B]  
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Ger B Offline
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In my current project at a group of shipyards I sometimes sit in meetings with designers (naval systems) and naval architects from my country,
from China, Romania, Poland, Ukraine. The discussions are in what the different nationalities call English... Hilarious.


Ger B

#415301 - 01/25/12 7:44 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Ger B]  
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paulberry Offline
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Fotheringay (FUN-jee) ??

Lannis, if you mean the Fotheringay (usually spelt Fotheringhay) where they executed Mary Queen of Scots then it is pronounced as it is spelt. At least it is by us who live nearby.

Cheers Paul


1969 T100S
1955 Tiger Cub
#415334 - 01/25/12 9:08 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Ger B]  
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kurt fischer Online content
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When it comes to grammar, I'm still struggling with "that" and "which."

"Shall" and "will" give problems, too.


Kurt
1968-70-71 Triumph TR6R Bitsa - 1969 Triumph TR6R - 1971 BSA A65L - 1973 Triumph TR5T
2005 Ducati MTS 1000S DS - 2012 Ducati Hyper 796 - 2014 Kawasaki ZX1000
#415350 - 01/25/12 9:59 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: paulberry]  
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Originally Posted By: paulberry

Fotheringay (FUN-jee) ??

Lannis, if you mean the Fotheringay (usually spelt Fotheringhay) where they executed Mary Queen of Scots then it is pronounced as it is spelt. At least it is by us who live nearby.

Cheers Paul


No, the PLACE is in fact Fotherinhay and pronounced like it looks, as you say. The NAME Fotheringay is generally shorted to Fungee, and Featherstonehaugh is "FAN-shaw" ...

Hey, my name's ALREADY short, I can't shorten it up!

Lannis


OK, I admit it, I'm addicted to brake fluid.

But I can stop any time I want.
#415357 - 01/25/12 10:41 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: paulberry]  
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Janet Offline
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Originally Posted By: paulberry

Fotheringay (FUN-jee) ??

Lannis, if you mean the Fotheringay (usually spelt Fotheringhay) where they executed Mary Queen of Scots then it is pronounced as it is spelt. At least it is by us who live nearby.

Cheers Paul
and in Scotland, Colquhoun is pronounced Cohoon with the 'o' being a bit like 'e' in 'the'.

#415405 - 01/26/12 2:51 am Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Ger B]  
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JD Offline
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When I was working in Turkey I was with a fellow Texan that constantly used idioms. Fortunately there was one Turk that had gone to school here and spoke flawless English. I think he spent much of our conversations translating...


Josh
#415481 - 01/26/12 4:54 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: JD]  
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Kent Shaun Online content
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BLIMEY I've got a whole lot of family who are called Colquhoun shocked WE say it, Ca-Hoon.

As for Ger..? I never know what his saying, it's all double Dutch to me laughing Think he'll have to treat me to some smoked Eels and a few beers, then I'll understand every word he says wink

Ik Vill Clompen Housterblift crazy


I'm from the SOUTH, the Deep South
#415490 - 01/26/12 5:28 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Kent Shaun]  
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Well i,ll be off to the BSA clubmeet tonight at Luddesdowm..pronounced ludsden which is near a place called trotterscliffe...pronounced trossley and of course i come from the saxon village of cucklestone named after cucola an ale swirling chieftan..now called cuxton...thats the english lingo for ya..its all them interbreds,normans,saxons,picts and martas, vikings,gauls,uncle tom cobleigh an all.... help

#415493 - 01/26/12 5:40 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: baza57]  
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Ger B Offline
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Quote:
Ik Vill Clompen Housterblift

Shaun: Tell them what somebody made you say about the Dutch word for pipes. It's also a verb...

laughing


Ger B

#415505 - 01/26/12 7:22 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Ger B]  
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Ger lad, my lips are sealed laughing

All I know is, I'll never use my Dutch word I know, with my Danish word I know, cos Pippen and Rovhul should NEVER meet laughing

If you were a woman lad, I could say 'Hold do Kelft Kellin' my favorite Danish phrase, course they most likely don't spell it like that, that's just how it sounds grin

Can't even tell you my Italian word lad, that's enough to make your hair curl blush

Bloody Truck drivers, they'll get you hung laughing


I'm from the SOUTH, the Deep South
#415508 - 01/26/12 7:41 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Ger B]  
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Ger, one of the things I have noticed about contributors to this site is the confusion between 'too' as in phrases such as 'too much' or 'too little' and 'to'.

'Too' refers to an excess of something whereas 'to' precede an action such as in 'to go' or 'to work'.


--------------------------------

Don't nail that lid down - I'm still bloomin' breathing !!
Click here to see SPIDER cartoons!
#415518 - 01/26/12 8:32 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Kent Shaun]  
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Originally Posted By: Kent Shaun
Ik Vill Clompen Housterblift crazy
Ik wil klompen alstublieft. smile

#415534 - 01/26/12 9:59 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Ger B]  
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Ger B Offline
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I don't want klompen. They make to much noise when you come home late...

The to and too is an issue I'm glade natives in English wrestle with to; not only foreigners for whom it is to late to go back to school.

We had a Vietnamese engineer here today. Smart chap who, after the meeting, over a small refreshment,
complained about the english of the Dutch engineering manager of the Dutch site.
Which reminded me of a Chinese fitter on board of my first ship in 1971.
He complained about my school English to the chief engineer: thissy one appleticy no speeky the engrissy...


Ger B

#415537 - 01/26/12 10:15 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Grandad]  
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shel Online content
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Originally Posted By: Grandad
Ger, one of the things I have noticed about contributors to this site is the confusion between 'too' as in phrases such as 'too much' or 'too little' and 'to'.

'Too' refers to an excess of something whereas 'to' precede an action such as in 'to go' or 'to work'.


there, their and they're takes a fair amount of abuse as well


When given the choice between two evils I picked the one I haven't tried before
#415540 - 01/26/12 10:40 pm Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: shel]  
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Originally Posted By: shel
Originally Posted By: Grandad
Ger, one of the things I have noticed about contributors to this site is the confusion between 'too' as in phrases such as 'too much' or 'too little' and 'to'.

'Too' refers to an excess of something whereas 'to' precede an action such as in 'to go' or 'to work'.


there, their and they're takes a fair amount of abuse as well


And the ones we REALLY beat up are:

Complement vs Compliment

Pour vs Pore

Modern "journalists" get those wrong on a regular basis ....

Lannis


OK, I admit it, I'm addicted to brake fluid.

But I can stop any time I want.
#415592 - 01/27/12 4:42 am Re: English language (no BB content) [Re: Ger B]  
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JD Offline
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Originally Posted By: Ger
Which reminded me of a Chinese fitter on board of my first ship in 1971.
He complained about my school English to the chief engineer: thissy one appleticy no speeky the engrissy...


Ger-that cracked me up. It reminds me of a Chinese restaurant menu when I was a kid where they had Shirley Tempos instead of Shirley Temples--a type of drink. In our field we get archaeologist vs. archeologist, and artefact vs. artifact.


Josh

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